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托福写作精选范文:同学比父母对孩子影响更大?

来源:智课 发布时间:2019-02-02

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  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  1. 题目翻译:

  你是否同意,同学比父母对孩子影响更大

  2. 审题关键词: Classmates; Influence; Parents; Child's success in school; Education; More

  3. 论证分析:

  正: It is in the first six years of life that fundamental values like hard work, diligence, and patience are instilled. The child does not learn by lecture, but rather imitates the behaviors he sees around him.

  正: Our parents will take up the longest time in our life.

  正: Finally, perhaps the most important skill a parent an teach a school-bound child is how to choose his friends.

  范文

  Although students stay with their classmates all time in school, parents are a more important influence on a child’s success. I disagree with the statement that classmates are a more important influence on a child’s success in school, because of the reasons as follows.

  First of all, parents are the people who understand their own children best. They know the children’s good sides and bad habits. They can correct the children’s bad idea and make them get rid of the bad habits. So children can found a good base to get success in school. But classmates cannot do these work.

  The other reason is that parents have experiences on a lot of matters. If children have problems, parents can give them their experiences to help them solve problems. If parents have no similar experiences, they still can give their children some advice and make them avoid the wrong directions. Classmates can also give children some help, but they do not have more experiences than parents. So their influence is less than that of parents.

  Parents also have other important influence on their children’s success in school. Parents may analyze something in different ways and have different opinions from children. Classmates also can have different opinions on one thing, but they are at the same conditions with each other, their opinions may be similar or narrow. Children can learn more comprehensive knowledge about on thing from their parents.

  So, based on the above discussion, I think it is clear that parents are a more important influence than classmates on a child’s success in school.

  满分要素剖析:

  一、 语言表达

  本文语言十分流畅,用词简单但是准确达意,比较注重语气上的变化,突出重点,营造语境来支撑自己的论点。

  1. Although students stay with their classmates all time in school, parents are a more important influence on a child’s success. 让步状语从句提出自己的观点,虽然同学们呆在一起的时间比较久,但是作者还是认为父母更有优势帮助孩子。退一步让作者的立场更坚定更有说服力。

  2. First of all, parents are the people who understand their own children best. 本句中将parents做强调,后接定语从句来修饰,突出作为主语的父母及父母的优势。

  二、 逻辑结构

  本文采用的是对比论证的方式,在每一段开头提出分论点,然后从正反两方来论证,这样的逻辑结构比较全面,但前提是双方在分论点的基础上要具有可比性,比如说父母和同学在“能给孩子的学习提供帮助”这个分论点上具有可比性,因为双方都能提供帮助,而父母具有其它的优势,所以胜出,分论点并不是一边倒的观点。如果不是这样的情况而采用这样的方法,就会使文章显得比较冗杂。

  在全文结构上,采用的是总分总的结构,中间分论点铺开论证,每一个自然段也是采取的总分的格式,比较工整。

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