Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
After I get my degree, I plan to start a business. My goal is to make a lot of money. However, I can’t forget that there are more important things in life than earning a profit. I must consider the people I work with, the customers I serve, and the community in which I live.
My colleagues are a very important part of my business. Without them, I would not have a business. I depend on them to help me carry out day-to-day operations. I depend on them for their advice on what to sell and how to sell it. I must compensate them for their work. I can’t take large profits without sharing with the people who made it possible.
Similarly, I would not have a business without my customers. I can never forget that they can take their business elsewhere if they choose. I must give them good value for their money. I can’t overcharge them. I must also remember that money is as important to them as it is to me. I want my customers to trust me and keep coming back.
My employees and I all live in the same community as our customers. We are a part of the social life of our community. We can’t ignore it. We must play an active part in it. I feel it is important that some of the profits my business earns from the community be returned to the community. We need to support community programs like summer jobs for high school students, campaigns to clean up parks, and efforts to make shopping areas more attractive. A business must make profits, but we all—workers, customers, community—must profit from successful business and social relationships.
1. However, I can’t forget that there are more important things in life than earning a profit.
2. I must consider the people I work with, the customers I serve, and the community in which I live.
3. I can’t take large profits without sharing with the people who made it possible.
Can’t do sth without doing something，意思如果不做某事就做不成某事。Without引导的介词短语，做条件状语。在托福写作中，这种结构常常出现在反面论证中，即，说明不做某事引起的反面后果。Without引导的介词结构也可以用unless引导的条件状语从句替代。
4. A business must make profits, but we all—workers, customers, community—must profit from successful business and social relationships.
workers, customers, community作为插入语结构出现在句中，用来解释we all的含义。插入语结构在托福和GRE作文以及阅读中有着很广泛的应用，一方面可以解释句子中提到的概念，另一方面是扩充了句子的内容，是句子更加饱满。插入语可以出现在文中的很多地方，中间需用逗号隔开，当去掉插入语时，前后还可以成为完整的句子。在内容上，这句话比较有深度，提出了了“成功的商业活动中，所有人都应该获利”的观点。
本文清晰的结构是其能获得满分的一个重要因素。本文采用大正论述结构，分别从workers, customers, community这三个角度来论述的，简单易懂，结构清晰。文章每一个段落内都是总分结构，非常中规中矩，而且举了一些生活中的例子，使得论证逻辑严谨，内容丰富。